Dealing With A Team Member who is harsh with kids

Your Question:

“How do I deal with a CM team member who is harsh with the kids?”

The Issues:

An over-controlling team member may feel inadequate or afraid of being “out of control.” There are ways to help the team member feel more secure but being harsh with the children is never something that you can permit to continue.  This situation needs to be corrected quickly.

Scripture Foundation:

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”  Ephesians 4:31

Short Answer:

A CM team member who is harsh with the children is a danger to the entire ministry!  Because of your connection with the team member, you may be tempted to let the situation continue without any interference.  This is dangerous! A harsh CM team member can “stumble” a child (Matthew 18:7) and push the child’s family away from the church.  Never let your own “connection” with a team member come before the safety of the children.  You must also realize that other CM team members probably know about this team member’s harshness. They are watching to see how you deal with it.  If you don’t deal with it, the “health” of the CM team will be affected.  To “deal with it” means to directly talk about the issue with the CM team member.  It is best to do this apart from the children, but if the team member’s harshness is dangerous to the children, you must intervene immediately by stepping into the room and staying there until the end of the service!  If you feel that the team member’s harshness is something that he/she is working on, you can join the team member with another team member in the same room, or another room. Joining the harsh team member with another team member who gentler will only work if you clearly state that the harsh team member is now not in control of the room.  This adjustment is very complicated!  You must talk with the gentler team member before you make this change.  If the gentler team member is not willing to take on this new arrangement, don’t do it!  If the gentler team member sees the good potential in the change, and is willing to participate in the plan, make the change quickly and meet with both team members after the first session with the children. If they both feel this was a good experience, continue it next week.  If either of the team members express dislike for the arrangement, make other plans.  The “bottom line” of your efforts must be the protection of the children.  If the harsh team member isn’t willing to submit to your efforts, kindly remove that team member from the CM team. For more help, click on the links below.

Click here to read more about how to deal with human nature in the “image of God.”

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