My Ministry Setting is Divisive
Your Question:
“How can I best serve in a divisive ministry setting?”
The Issues:
The term “divisive” can mean many things, but the “bottom line” is that the environment probably includes unrest due to difficult or “caustic” people. Ideally, a divisive ministry should be “fixed” quickly by addressing the issue or the people that causes it. If a divisive person is permitted to continue because the perspective is, “Oh, that’s just who he is…he’s okay,” this can damage the entire ministry. Removing a divisive person may seem harsh, but it may be the best decision.
Scripture Foundation:
“Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.” Proverbs 22:10
Short Answer:
In today’s divisive society, it is somewhat understandable that a ministry environment might also be divisive. This may be understandable, but it must not be acceptable nor permitted! Divisions are the result of strong opinions or strong decisions that have not been expressed or handled kindly. A “healthy” ministry is not a ministry without opinions or decisions; but rather a ministry that has a “culture” of kindness and respect. There must be rules about people’s words and actions. But even beyond simple standards or rules, the ministry must be careful to recruit or hire people who don’t cause division, and challenge or remove them if they continue to do so.
God is very strong in the Bible about the danger of people who cause divisions, and the importance of dealing with them:
1) “I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites.” Romans 16:7
2) “As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him…” Titus 3:10
3) “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit.” Jude 1:18, 19
4) “I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.” 1Corinthians 1:10.
If the “divisive” nature of the ministry comes from a supervisor or pastor “above” you in the church, you may just have to do your best to not make it worse. Sometimes, there is nothing you can do. You can pray and try being nice. Many “divisive” people have been influenced through kindness. This is what is spoken of in Proverbs 15: 1“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger,” and in Proverbs 25:21-22 “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.” These two scriptures encourage you to be kind in the face of offensive behavior and give the divisive person what he/she needs.
A divisive person may need to feel powerful, or in control. If the divisive person is “above” you in the church leadership, give him/her what is needed: obedience and honor. If you disagree with the person’s opinions, you are not going to change him/her with your own opinions. If the divisive person wants you to do something that is not right, or not good for the CM, this is a different situation. You must never do something that is not good for you, the children, your CM team, or the children’s parents. It is important to say, “I don’t agree with doing this.” Be ready to calmly help the person see the situation through your eyes. If you are forced to do something that you can’t, in good conscience, do, you may now be faced with a larger issue that may lead you to minister elsewhere. This is where you need to seek counsel from someone completely outside of the church. If you seek counsel from someone inside the church, this may be misinterpreted as subversion, and you will be even more at risk.
If the divisive person is either “under” your supervision, or “equal” to your position, it is advisable to discuss this with your immediate supervisor. If the divisive person is on the CM team, you and your supervisor will work together on a plan. If the divisive person is not on the CM team, your supervisor will take the responsibility of dealing with the person after you share your observations.
Ministering in a “divisive” environment is very draining! If you can avoid dealing with the person or the issue, and simply focus on the joys of the CM, that is great. If you can’t avoid the person or issue, do your best to be a positive influence. If it is within your power or authority to deal with the divisive person or issue, do so quickly and document every step or encounter. If the person is on your CM team, confront the person, give him/her a chance to improve, but if the divisive behavior repeats itself, document everything carefully and thank the person for his/her ministry as you remove him/her from the CM.
Remember that you are a shepherd! A shepherd has two main “tools” to use in caring for the sheep: a rod and a staff. The rod is for correction and protection, and the staff is for directing the sheep or protecting them. God has given you both a “rod” to use if you must remove a divisive person, and a “staff” to use in encouraging and supporting everyone on the CM team.
For more help in understanding the setting of the children’s ministry, click on the APPENDIX link below.
Visit other articles in the “Understanding Your Ministry Setting APPENDIX”
